The other day I told myself a very convincing story that had a pretty negative outcome. I was sure that I would soon suffer a great loss and I immediately became anxious and sad. As it turned out, I totally misread the situation, and my imagined outcome never came to pass. While I was thankful that my perceived negative outcome was a figment of my imagination, I had been totally convinced that my situation was real and not a construction of my brain. I know I’m not the only one to experience this phenomenon. 

I’m fascinated by my willingness to suspend my disbelief. As Samuel Taylor Coleridge said, “voluntarily setting aside critical thinking and logic to enjoy a work of fiction” that I have made up myself.  Just as we can become entranced by a movie we are watching and feel that we are totally part of that story, we can easily forget that what we are experiencing as real, is actually a story made up by our minds. 

In fact, everything is a construction of our minds. The brain takes in all sorts of sensory information, arranges it, compares it to earlier patterns it has noticed, and then creates a story to make sense of the situation. This is standard operating procedure for our brains. As my coach likes to say, “It’s all made up!” 

How can we go behind the curtain and see the story construction happening in the moment or at least very soon after its inception? One powerful way is to stop and take a breath. When I do this, I can metaphorically take a step backward see a bigger picture. Where we focus our attention is an essential element of story construction. When I step back, I can see the scene from a different perspective. This immediately reminds me that I have created the story in the first place. I now have the power to consciously create the story any way that I want. 

Stopping and taking a breath also allows me to feel my feelings. Many have us have a loquacious storyteller that lives inside our heads constantly narrating our lives to us. We also have our bodies which contain all the emotions of our experience. As I once realized in my own coaching session, “My body is talking to me. It’s just not speaking English!” The more I can take the time to be with my emotions, the more I understand what my character is doing in the story I am constructing. Acknowledging and befriending my feelings also brings meaning and connection to my story. 

While not all stories have a happy ending (although many of them can when you consciously retell your story) all stories can provide meaning to your life. What story do you want to consciously retell now?

*Here’s a special offer for you in honor of Valentine’s Day. A free half hour coaching session to rewrite your love story. Maybe you have a great love story. How can you make it even better? Maybe you’re looking for a great love story. Let’s co-create it! Maybe you don’t even believe a love story is possible. Do you want to challenge your mind? Anything is possible when you are the author of your own story! I will give one free session to each person who contacts me for a Getting to Know You session. If you’re ready to rewrite your love story or even just thinking about it, let’s get together. And, if you know anybody who could benefit from a free session with me, please send them my way. 

Grateful for all the stories we each have to tell, 
Judith