I’m currently reading From Presence to Power: How to Take On the Fights That Matter – And Win by Rashad Robinson. While this book is aimed at those working for political change and social justice, I believe the tools and methods he advocates for are equally powerful for enhancing our own personal presence, growth, and power.

I have always thought that presence was the most important aspect of creating change in my life. Whether I show up and how I show up are key to the impact I make at any given moment. While presence is essential, it’s not enough. It must be accompanied by power in order to affect change.

Power is wielded through strategy and action. Most importantly, the use of power must make those parts or people maintaining the status quo uncomfortable enough to make the necessary change.

So often many of us go through life not questioning our habitual behaviors and beliefs. Just recently I found out that the way I was flossing my teeth was not the most advantageous. I have always first brushed my teeth, then used my water pik, and finally, flossed with dental floss. It turns out that flossing with dental floss first, is a better use of the floss. Flossing first allows you to remove trapped food debris and loosened plaque, and boosts fluoride retention. In all the years that I’ve been flossing, no dentist ever suggested flossing first.

Perhaps they all assumed that I was already doing so.

Now, whenever I brush my teeth, I floss first and brush second. I became uncomfortable thinking about all of the bacteria that could flourish in my mouth if I continued to do it my customary way. Until the part of you that is committed to maintaining the status quo is no longer comfortable with the way things have always been, nothing changes.

Let’s be honest. Change takes time and demands a certain amount of discomfort. That discomfort is often attached to the actual or imagined experience of losing or giving up something important. Flossing before brushing means that I have to read a Post-It note on my bathroom mirror to stop my automatic reaching for my toothbrush first. In a few weeks, I will have mastered this new habit with a minimum of discomfort and almost no loss at all.

Other changes demand much deeper discomfort, sometimes physical, and sometimes emotional. And some carry genuine risks. When I decided to get my first cochlear implant surgery, I ran the risk of completely losing my hearing in my left ear and the implant not providing the hearing that was promised. It was a very scary change. Thankfully, everything worked out well. Still, I had to go through a year of physical discomfort as well as mental readjustments in order to hear as well as I do. The outcome was well worth all of my pain and discomfort.

The first step in making change is to be present. To show up and see what is actually going on in your current circumstances. What part of you has the power to influence or change the situation? If the problem originates outside of you, where does the responsibility for addressing it lie?

How have you engaged with this part (or parts) or with those outside of you? If you haven’t connected with them in some way, what has kept you from doing so? In either case, what story are you telling yourself about interacting with them?

In looking at what you’ve done so far, what worked, what hasn’t, what still needs to be tried? From here you can build a more powerful strategy for the change you want to make. Of course, change takes time and failures are a given. Success rarely comes without paying some price.

It is easy to both undervalue presence and overvalue it. I have done both. In the face of my own failures, I’ve frequently removed my presence both physically and emotionally. I’ve also assumed that just showing up is sufficient. Sometimes it is, but most times more is required.

Presence and power are partners. They need each other to accomplish what each desires.

Presence allows us to see what is. Power allows us to intervene in what is.